The Balancing Act

Editor's Note: The following excerpt is from Me, Myself & Inc., a new book written by Enterprising Women National Advisory Board member Sherré DeMao.

We live in a society that has conditioned us to believe that we should leave our work at the office and our personal lives at home. Now, in our efforts to reverse this trend, we have created immense pressure to create balance between our personal and work lives.

When the idea of keeping the two worlds separate was in vogue, those who attempted to create harmony between their work and personal lives felt like they had to split themselves in half. A feeling of wholeness seemed unachievable as our personal and work lives were compartmentalized by design and expectation. Our two worlds were competing for our attention — neither one fed and nurtured the other for success.

For the entrepreneur, keeping work and life separate is near to impossible. Owning your own business becomes a double-edged sword. On one side is the fantasy of the American dream — and on the other side is the harsh reality of building something from nothing, all on your own.

There is a misperception that entrepreneurs enjoy great flexibility. Those looking at you and your business from the outside envy your ability to set your own schedule, do as you please, arrive and leave work when you want and have no one to answer to but yourself. I know that you are snickering right now and saying, "Yeah right! I have customers and employees to answer to. I have a payroll to meet and deadlines looming. I would love to come and go whenever I please, but it seems I am coming more than going and it isn't usually as I please!" And yet, you carry on, because even with the demands, the hassles and the pressure, you are passionate about your business.

The reality is, especially in the beginning and during any critical growth phase of a business, the entrepreneur endures unending hours, wears a hundred hats and receives poor or no pay. It becomes a balancing act — with the emphasis on "act." The only thing that keeps many business owners going is the belief that they are doing something that will make a difference and eventually produce a profit. In addition to wanting a successful business, they also desire a life outside of that business and want to enjoy the fruits of their labor. This is the source of the frustration behind the balancing act.

Too many business owners are like the vaudeville act of an entertainer feverishly spinning plates on thin lines of wire. At first he is adept at keeping the multitude of plates spinning. But he begins to find himself rushing here, there and everywhere — as one plate, and then another starts to wobble — in an effort to keep them spinning.

Does this sound like you? In the process, you start to wear out. You are doing this all on our own and you wish there were two or three others to help you keep all these plates spinning, because it's a lot of work for so little reward. Eventually a plate goes crashing to the floor — and then there is a mess to clean up.

The problem with the "balance" mindset is that it forces you to focus on what is out of balance. You rush to that wobbling plate to get it spinning again. When you are continuously reacting versus being proactive in your attempts to achieve this balance, you are never able to get ahead. Balance also involves adding and taking away in order to equalize, often requiring you to give something up that you may not want to. You might have fewer plates spinning, but then you feel like you are missing out on something or that you gave up too soon. When operating under this mindset, it is no wonder entrepreneurs feel pulled in a million different directions on a daily basis. But don't beat yourself up — this is how we have been conditioned for decades, if not centuries.

At one time or another, you have likely said that you have a lot of balls in the air. The problem is thinking of those "balls" as spinning plates, instead of as objects that can be caught, juggled, bounced back and tossed to someone else for a spell. Or, you may see those balls hanging in the air, like they are suspended from a mobile, and secretly hope they will stay up there until you are ready to grab them out of limbo.

Synergy feeds, nurtures and builds upon what is already in place. It is able to pull in more of what is desired with ease, at just the right moment. Synergy has each component working with the other — no more spinning out of control or being in limbo. Synergy doesn't force you to take away what you really want or make you feel you are ready to come crashing down. Synergy is energy. It gives you a sense of empowerment versus depleting your power.

Start thinking synergy. It will enable you to juggle your goals effortlessly by using one goal to help the other or by using resources from one goal to support the others.

Diagnosis for Life
The owner of a staffing firm knew all too well the sacrifices that needed to be made to build her business. Establishing her firm at the same time that she was ending a 17-year marriage seemed ludicrous to some. For this 39-year-old, the birthing of her business was the one thing that gave her hope and fortitude to move forward during a difficult time in her personal life. She took stock of her situation and decided she would rather triumph in building her business than "fight over dishes," so she put all of her energy into her business, stating to herself that it was a "do or die" venture.

Seven years later she had built a solid enterprise with impressive sales and profits and a staff of ten. She was dedicating about 70 to 90 hours each week to her business. She was content in doing so because her business was her life and she enjoyed the success it had realized. But her thoughts of "do or die" from all those years before came back to haunt her. One month after her business' seventh anniversary, she was diagnosed with breast cancer.

At this point it became clear that if she did not get a life in addition to her business, it was going to kill her. Fortunately, she had put some key business-saving standards into place, never fully realizing their importance — until now. She had a strong procedural system in place and had practiced what she preached to her clients by hiring good people. When she announced her diagnosis, these people stepped forward with total commitment, assuring her that the company would stay strong while she coped with her disease.

Less than a month after her diagnosis, she was in surgery, followed by 15 months of chemotherapy. As she focused on healing, she had precious time to think about how she wanted her life to evolve. She became grateful and aware of so many things that she had taken for granted. As she continued to heal, she also developed a deep admiration for those in the healthcare profession who had helped her battle and triumph over the cancer.

At the one year anniversary of her diagnosis of cancer, she established a second staffing company focused entirely on placing healthcare professionals. She was pleased to see that in spite of an economy in which competitors were closing offices and branches, her businesses were able to maintain their sales levels, thanks to her exceptional staff taking the reins. Slowly getting back into the business as her strength increased, she now works 45 hours, at the most, each week. She takes time for more rest and reflection, has made travel a regular escape, and enjoys friends and the outdoors.

She now cautions any business owner she comes into contact with to answer these questions: "If something were to happen to you, would your business survive, thrive or fail?" And most important of all, "Is that very same business giving you a life you love?"

Thankfully, this entrepreneur has one business that survived and is thriving, plus another business that is well on its way. She now answers the second question with total elation — "Yes!"

**EDITOR'S NOTE: The company featured in the side bar example is Premier Resources, Inc, and Premier Healthcare Resources, Inc. owned by Angela Mastoras Key in Charlotte, NC.

SHERRÉ DeMAO is the founder and chief marketer of SLD Unlimited Marketing/PR, Inc., an award-winning marketing consulting, branding and strategy firm in the Charlotte, NC area. A member of the Enterprising Women National Advisory Board and a recipient of the Enterprising Women of the Year Award, she may be contacted at 704-483-2941 or through her Web site at www.memyselfandinc.com.